It was all in the midst of
childhood when I learnt of death, when an old woman of statue passed on in my
family. I was in class when my aunt came to collect me from school to my late (Gogo)
grandmother’s house, hence by then I wasn't even told of her life journey
ending. While driving with my aunt tries to start a conversation by asking me
if I remembered what my “Gogo” used to say to me about celebrating one’s life,
the ever inquisitive me then asked where “Gogo” was. I saw tears in auntie’s
eyes & her voice starting to sound rough & deep, full of pain and she
then parked on the side of the road to hug me & whispered “O fodile”
meaning “She’s now healed/well”. She sounded more like Gogo her tone went
deeper, I choked on my own saliva & coughed my lungs out as my aunt was a
bit slow with pouring me the juice in the Styrofoam cup. Only to find that she
was deep in tears & now decided to tell me straight up that “Gogo is no
more”, I kind of knew what she meant hence being a little boy I asked whether
she was sure. From there it was only silence in the loud engine car, I fell
asleep right there & then.
The worst moment of every human’s departure is the burial,
the cemetery is mostly filled to the brim in the black neighborhoods in South
Africa and the Saturday in August 1990 was the day we celebrated Gogo’s life
with songs and praises. That old woman pass on at the age of 86 yrs and as I put
this pen to paper I’m not even half the age she lived. She always referred to
me as her hubby because her husband was fond of me more than any other cousin
or sibling, he is the man that moulded my tune. He loved music so much that it
was the only thing I heard on the day of Gogo’s funeral, it brought her whole village
together & the only thing was that they were all strangers to me but knew
me enough to know that my passion was the song.
The priest came forth with only hymns that left everybody
slow & emotional, seeing that it was sad I convinced my cousin to start a chorus
from the outside of the cemetery tents. She started the most joyous &
thankful song only to get a hiding of her life, I felt guilty the whole day
till we got home and as a family we sang the very same song to commemorate
Gogo. “I remember mamma in happy way” was then & even though it wasn't a
gospel song it was perfect for the occasion & even the funeral, funerals
still scare me today…I wish I could be absent on mine, because people crying
became Music to My Soul!!! So many I lost along the way and even the daughter
to my grand-mother, my mother passed on and it feels like the spoon I use keep
digging everybody’s grave. Again today I sing the very same song that got my
cousin sister a hiding at Gogo’s funeral, “I remember mamma in happy way”.
Excuse my key for those who never talk about death, to all those that passed on
& they knew me…DEATH BE NO PROUD!!!
EXCUSE MY KEY…
Thanks for listening to my nerves, damn you got me nervous…
…pardon my story isn't Mr Lonely, my real name is Rufus
King William II had it as his last, some of that greatness
onto me was passed…
…never mind my past, I hope this isn't lust
Hoping more that you aren't venomous, something like this
can be dangerous…
…hazardous to emotions, girl I’m scared
Not of the past hence the future, damn I’m scared…
…in life I lost and found, still I am lost
“Finding what was never lost doesn't make it yours” my late
mother told me that when we spoke about love…
…I know I had enough, ownership ain't my game just teach me
how to love you
EXCUSE MY KEY…
I learned my notes in the pain lab…
…with Dr Dre in the background playing I conclude that never
will I ever find the missing Rib-bone on my chest
I want to let my heart rest…
…with you it feels like the last test
That maybe I found the missing Rib-bone on my chest…!!!
EXCUSE MY KEY…
…notes I learned are sultry – POETRY and nothing else
All I want is her & her words…
…her swag can’t be a problem, word!!!
EXCUSE MY KEY…
…all I know is the notes I play are never astray – MELODY
and nothing else
And only you have to EXCUSE MY KEY…
