WHY LOBOLA?

Living in urban areas today & still following our old rural customs, this coming weekend I will be attending a Lobola bringing ceremony. None of the 2 of the couple come from the rural area or old times & they're both my friends, I asked them if they knew the reason Lobola is required when we get married as Africans or should say some African cultures. They had no idea, that in particular to me it said they had no idea why they’re getting married also. Simply because I had asked the elders that question before I could even think of marriage, I was told it was a token of friendship. We are living in a rather different world today, the world of big social connections & networks where some are visual, virtual physical & more. Looking at one particular platform which is social network, we have communities & societies with norms as much as any other. Boy meets girls, buyer meets seller and job seeker meets the employer and many more meet there. Facebook has a population of over a billion, what happens when 2 people meet and decide they want to get married? Does he still have to pay Lobola? Why Lobola?

Let me answer that question in today’s language hence let’s starts first by looking at the platforms out there that all free like Facebook and they are all about Lobola. Free Classifieds to Free Dating sites, this is where buyer meets seller in all ways possible yet to understand that Lobola is the final transaction that buys friendship be it temporary or permanent. I know some people will disagree with me when I say that the Lobola custom is like a Free Classified the buyer(man) meets seller(parents) through website/paper(women) to buy the product(wife), most of those who disagrees have been scammed. They bought cars without FSH, they bought houses without viewing and funny enough there’s no refund because it was all token of friendship. As a first time buyer I had to seek advice, only to find that none of the websites know about quality of the products or the guarantee of reproduction success. Therefore it is website’s responsibility to provide with trust worthiness of the product & its seller, for example if you are marrying a Zulu woman from a non-royal family that would mean Lobola is 11 cows and that is the standard. There are qualities she comes with as a Zulu woman and the biggest one is being submissive. Hell no, I can hear my sister saying that without even breathing. The same goes with me buying a car I saw on Car Classified site, why is the seller selling? Does it have FSH? Why do I then have to give them 11 cows? Why are they putting a price on the child? Is she any good? Is she educated? Why are they not paying me for taking their responsibility away from them? Too many question for the uncles I guess, maybe they are not willing to sell & it is only situations that pushes them to. Trading has grown or should I say changed, I can hire a car for any desired time as long as I can afford it. Then why aren’t these seller (parents) having rental options, let me have their daughter for 10 years for 3 cows and charge me for the damages when I return it? Crazy I know hence when she decides to divorce me I will not get my money back & at times its even worst because she has to take half of what is mine. Scam!!!

The truth is Lobola is just a token of friendship & not price on their child’s head, you are buying the friendship because you just chose to relate with their family. The fact is you will remain just what you have paid for, being a friend or should I say families being friends. In other words you have just paid for the product (wife) to the seller (parents) and not the website (woman), so when anything go wrong do not refer to websites (women) you should have checked seller (parents) first.

ANGELVILLE IS YOUR NEW HOME NOW…

I mostly write with difficulty of arranging my words and paragraphs, what introduction suite my story or poem. Today I don’t really care who will be reading and why, criticize if you can let’s see if I would give a damn. Writers like me are mostly never embraced or even celebrated while alive and that doesn’t mean that all the other writers get recognition also but just let them know that I am no more, see how much of my material they’ll start reading. Or maybe I’m just a bit sad that yesterday I had to say my goodbyes to the Poetic Angel called Maya Angelou as she had departed for Angelville, if she knew why a caged bird sang then maybe she wrote that song. She was like the Pele & Diego Maradona for the poetry, being on the football/soccer spirit let me say R.I.P to South Africa’s football genius Isaac “Shakes” Khungoane (former Kaizer Chiefs player) who took his last journey the same day as Maya Angelou. That reminded me of Maya Angelou’s poems “Alone”, it is true that “Nobody, Can make it out of here alone” as she shared her pain & joy with us allowing us to also express our utmost feeling in poems/songs & stories.

 

Alone

Lying, thinking

Last night

How to find my soul a home

Where water is not thirsty

And bread loaf is not stone

I came up with one thing

And I don't believe I'm wrong

That nobody,

But nobody

Can make it out here alone

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone

There are some millionaires

With money they can't use

Their wives run round like banshees

Their children sing the blues

They've got expensive doctors

To cure their hearts of stone

But nobody

No, nobody

Can make it out here alone

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone

Now if you listen closely

I'll tell you what I know

Storm clouds are gathering

The wind is gonna blow

The race of man is suffering

And I can hear the moan

'Cause nobody

But nobody

Can make it out here alone

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone

By: Maya Angelou

Today I make a promise to myself that I will write until meeting you in Angelville, I mean heaven if there is a place such as that one. An unknown destination for all of us & now not for you anymore, Rest In Peace Poetic Angel or should I say Return If Possible Mamma Maya. I won’t let these cage called life take away my voice to sing or speak my song. Today I fell on my knees and prayed that I touch people like you did someday, bring them closer to humanity. Everything that I might say would be repeated by a lot of people who know you & those who have no clue who you are, I have no clue on how to write an obituary either. I write my poems that would be used as my obituary when I join you there at Angelville. With a vote of thanks for all that you did for poetry, I want to say Angelville is now your new home & please watch over the kids in Nigeria being killed by Boko Haram, those kids who are dying of hunger & violence in the Middle East. I know some of these people & names have never filled your ears but send my regards to Prof E’skia Mphahlele, William Shakespeare, Tupac, Notorious BIG and all the poets I had not mentioned…They were also poets even though not of your statue!!!

ANGELVILLE…

Poetic Angel in my world you gave us rhyme

Reason I write is rhyme & reason from your lines

A legend to us though a freshman in Heavenly Angelville

I’m only Spoken Word-sick like Home-sick, I let your Poems be my Pill

Welcome to Angelville by Teddy Pendergrass would be your best

And mine to Angelville by Maya Angelou would a bliss

My Mamma will definitely tell a bit about me if not the rest

With this sonnet I plead that you remain her friend & be my frisk to resting in peace

Or maybe I’m “Passing Time” by celebrating a life of “Phenomenal Woman”

From “Refusal” to “Remembrance”, “Still I Rise” to the “The Lesson”…

…only because I love to live & give

They went home, home to Angelville

Why condolences & not benevolences

Because they’ve used all their chances!!!

By: Rufus “Roof-Top” Mashao

R.I.P

BORN: April 4, 1928

DEPARTED: May 28, 2014

A GOOD QUESTION THAT DESERVES MY ANSWER…

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY WE STILL CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY?

Love should be celebrated everyday & yes Valentine’s Day can be celebrated also as to remind those who forgot or who were preoccupied by work all year-long and other things that love has to be celebrated.

If you were celebrating love all year-long then why not celebrate it now since the world gave you that common day to do so? And if you didn't find enough time then it is the right time to do so...at the end of the day it is only one day to be common to the world as much as Christians in Christmas even though Jesus Christ was not born in December hence it unites them. Lovers need to be united also and Love needs revival as well.

If you love your partner as much as you say you do then why does money have to be a matter...? We buy expensive bottles every now & then, why not a Valentines' gift and secure those late night with the gents. I know my fellow communist friends & family will comment silently accusing me of being deluded by the Western Ideologies hence I know the truth, it is Africa that gave the world the first civilization and then Romans followed. Saint Valentine originates was a Roman priest and his fame is not for to explain hence for the world to celebrate, I myself don’t celebrate the day with an obvious reason which is I’m a single man. With this little message, I hope to generally help St Valentines to spread the idea & message of love. Buy her that bouquet of flowers on your way from work today & you’ll see it works wonders, I am no Dr Love hence I know every woman loves to be loved and embraced with gifts and today my biggest gift to all women in the world is my advice to their men/husbands or even boyfriends to celebrate them today if not St Valentine’s day with them. Yes I don’t my father celebrating the when growing up hence I don’t think he even knew what it was all about and maybe if my relationship status was different I wouldn’t celebrate it myself, all I’m saying is that there is no need of depriving your better half the opportunity of common to the global idea of celebrating love.

One of my friends posted on his Facebook Status a critical question: “HONESTLY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY, SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY?” and I being an impulsive person I answered inconsiderably so only to realise that some of the friends included were expecting some accord to stand by in their decision to defy their own intentions in communion with their partners. Impulsive me wouldn’t let my friends down and advise negatively towards their lifetime commitments, what kind of a friend would I be? Hence I felt good about my comment because I was also surprised by my take on love & St Valentine’s Day, I used to be just like them before I decided to be on my own as a single man. The funniest of comments were made & the best highlight of the forum for me was one from Mr Mabule, saying: “We, the National Association of Husbands And Boyfriends (NAHAB) wish to announce our annual 3-day strike which will commence on 13 Feb and end on 15 Feb.

Please note: our cell phones will not be working during the strike and our relationship commitments commence on 16 Feb. We apologize for the inconvenience caused to our wives and girlfriends who were hoping to be with us on Valentine's Day. Viva NAHAB viva!”

I almost fell off my office chair laughing & thinking if a man is that creative in thinking and expressing a joke, what would he be doing for his wife for St Valentine’s Day? My gift to you, married women & those in relationships is my “Answer” to the very utmost question from men all over the world around this time of the year… “SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY WE STILL CELEBRATE VALENTINES DAY?”. Happy St Valentine’s Day to everyone in the world, may you share & spread all the love. We have seen enough animosity!!!

SOUTH AFRICA, A BUNCH OF LOSERS FOR A NATION!!!

Forgive me for not being a patriot to my nation, who else can claim to be? Everybody keeps pointing fingers at each other forgetting a thousand or even a million other fingers are pointing right back at us, yes I know with this missive I am attempting to enlighten our nation hence some will see it as pointing fingers at everyone. “Typically South African” was what I read on a bumper sticker on a black Maserati parked at Park Station Johannesburg, the only thing that came to mind was “Tender Dude”. And yes it was a well-dressed lad who came out of it, chiskop boy with a phone bigger than his head in his left hand & a bottle of Valpré Spring Water on the right. I was wrong for thinking “Tender Dude” as it was a soccer player, as he leaned to his passenger for a kiss then a hobo came closer to give him praise & wishing him the best for his career in talent. “Eh Skhokho” simply meaning “the great one”, “u inja son” simply meaning “you are dog/the man” and as if the hobo was asking for money turned the soccer star looking at the hobo said “niya hlopha nani” just meaning he is feeling bothered. I was stunned to hear a public icon saying whatever he was saying and the manner in which he addressed a fan, hence that was about a year back.

I’m telling this little story of a soccer star now because I’m reminded of that moment when I hear everybody’s comments on what Minister of Sport Fikile Mbalula said about Bafana Bafana recently after losing 3-1 to Nigeria at the CHAN Tournament, what a patriotic statement he gave. As if he’s perfect in life or his work, he forgot that he was once caught with his pants down when was found cheating with a model. He himself belong to the ruling party that keeps failing to deliver to South Africans on so many things, not to criticise but Bafana Bafana performed uniformly with our government under the quandary in the development area and what excuse does our government have? It was the Minister of education who set the bar very low by making the pass mark 30% and looking at it Bafana scored 1 goal to the 3 that Nigeria scored, if my maths is right then that should be 1/3 which makes it 33% and that makes them bad? When Jacob Zuma was elected President in 2009 he promised to create 5 million more jobs instead, since then 1.4 million more jobs have been lost. Let’s do the Maths again, it is -1.4/5 which is equals -28%, then for me Bafana Bafana performed immaculately so. They were outstanding according to the success/pass mark bar placed by the Basic Education Minister Mrs Angie Motshekga, then why lash on them and not ANC & Zuma’s team. Excuse me for being obtuse hence just like Minister Fikile Mbalula said to/about Bafana Bafana, we are a Nation of Bunch of Losers. Professor Arbuckle once told me to set my goals very high & realistic so that if it happens I don’t reach them I should be halfway there, in simple terms “reach for stars so that if you don’t succeed then you will fall on the clouds”. There is a reason we call it a Basic Education, one needs to have it to know the importance of it and I know that people will get offended but the reason we have an uneducated President is the level of education we have as a nation. Out of all Professors, Doctors & even more other educated people in the ANC they chose Jacob Zuma to replace the well-educated Thabo Mbeki for what? Bunch Of Losers!!!

Automatically it makes me a loser too for pointing fingers hence the truth be told, if Minister of Sport could see losers in our fellow patriots Bafana Bafana and also willing to strip them off their name why can’t we do the same with the President. The National Football Squad didn’t make any promises to win but Jacob Zuma promised to create jobs and he failed to do so. Not to pin point anyone but if we look at our Nation from Fikile Mbalula’s point of view then we need to reprimand a lot of people in parliament including him, Bafana Bafana gets together only when there is a game or tournament to be played hence parliamentarians see each other more often than they act on our needs. Numbers don’t lie let’s check the score board, when Mandela was President Bafana Bafana became African Champions & MaBoko-Boko became World Champions thus reflected the integrity of a leader. Hence with Thabo Mbeki Bafana Bafana got to the quarter finals and now with Jacob Zuma, they can’t even lift a muscle never mind lifting the trophy. A President should be a motivator, someone Sportsmen will believe in and want to please not a demoraliser who calls patriots “A BUNCH OF LOSERS”

Word of advice for Mr Fikile Mbalula, “be the change you wanna see” and I believe you’ve heard that before and read it from Ghandi’s quotes and all that. If you want Bafana Bafana to perform then start right at home with your fellow comrades…and remember that sometimes it helps being a loser depending on what is it you are losing and how. Bafana Bafana are doing something most of the parliamentarians needs to do to be useful healthy Bunch of Losers, they exercise almost every day. Comfort them instead of kicking them down, it’s not like you and your comrades could have done better in that field…you BUNCH OF LOSERS. That doesn’t look right does it? It doesn’t even sound right coming from a loser’s mouth telling losers they are losers where as we live in South Africa today. Typical South Africans, only supportive when it suite them…A NATION OF BUNCH OF LOSERS competing on who’s the better loser but by far our leaders in parliament are the biggest/best losers ever. He (Fikile Mbalula) felt like Bafana Bafana was making him look bad but he did that on his own called them the image from his mirror. Come on South Africa, let's love our country and it's countrymen...let's all be Patriots!!!

Patriot I am…

…Yes I can

Stand by my fellow countrymen when times are bad…

…exactly when everyone wants no tears to be shed

Admiral I am…

…allow all my generals to take a stand

And fight against misconduct…

…to unity I’m the product

It is sure not cool being schooled…

…yet we all play by the book

Those who never read know not how to spell…

…but only to cast a spell

To my nation, a Patriot I am…

…to my enemies I got all stones turned

When you see me lose just don’t be blue…

…if you ain’t got a clue

Not all battles are the same…

…reason this war is got us all insane

Therefore like any soldier…

…when my fellow man is down and in tears

And he ask that I take his pain away…

I shall gladly silence him for good in his way…

…for I am a patriot

Arms in arms, chariots to chariots

Still I shall remain thee Patriot

By: Rufus "Roof-Top" Mashao