Living in urban areas today & still following our old
rural customs, this coming weekend I will be attending a Lobola bringing
ceremony. None of the 2 of the couple come from the rural area or old times
& they're both my friends, I asked them if they knew the reason Lobola is
required when we get married as Africans or should say some African cultures.
They had no idea, that in particular to me it said they had no idea why they’re
getting married also. Simply because I had asked the elders that question
before I could even think of marriage, I was told it was a token of friendship.
We are living in a rather different world today, the world of big social
connections & networks where some are visual, virtual physical & more.
Looking at one particular platform which is social network, we have communities
& societies with norms as much as any other. Boy meets girls, buyer meets
seller and job seeker meets the employer and many more meet there. Facebook has
a population of over a billion, what happens when 2 people meet and decide they
want to get married? Does he still have to pay Lobola? Why Lobola?
Let me answer that question in today’s language hence let’s starts
first by looking at the platforms out there that all free like Facebook and
they are all about Lobola. Free Classifieds to Free Dating sites, this is where
buyer meets seller in all ways possible yet to understand that Lobola is the
final transaction that buys friendship be it temporary or permanent. I know
some people will disagree with me when I say that the Lobola custom is like a Free
Classified the buyer(man) meets seller(parents) through website/paper(women) to
buy the product(wife), most of those who disagrees have been scammed. They
bought cars without FSH, they bought houses without viewing and funny enough
there’s no refund because it was all token of friendship. As a first time buyer
I had to seek advice, only to find that none of the websites know about quality
of the products or the guarantee of reproduction success. Therefore it is website’s
responsibility to provide with trust worthiness of the product & its
seller, for example if you are marrying a Zulu woman from a non-royal family
that would mean Lobola is 11 cows and that is the standard. There are qualities
she comes with as a Zulu woman and the biggest one is being submissive. Hell
no, I can hear my sister saying that without even breathing. The same goes with
me buying a car I saw on Car Classified site, why is the seller selling? Does
it have FSH? Why do I then have to give them 11 cows? Why are they putting a
price on the child? Is she any good? Is she educated? Why are they not paying
me for taking their responsibility away from them? Too many question for the
uncles I guess, maybe they are not willing to sell & it is only situations
that pushes them to. Trading has grown or should I say changed, I can hire a
car for any desired time as long as I can afford it. Then why aren’t these
seller (parents) having rental options, let me have their daughter for 10 years
for 3 cows and charge me for the damages when I return it? Crazy I know hence
when she decides to divorce me I will not get my money back & at times its
even worst because she has to take half of what is mine. Scam!!!
